Many people are going to wonder why overnight I became obsessed with fashion. When I was younger I never put work into my appearance. I was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl which isn’t a bad thing. I put up with body shaming growing up and into my adult years. At a family event some people who are no longer in my life made a fuss about me getting a second plate of food. I was 16 years old which is already a difficult time for a girl. It was the worst feeling! I ended up leaving shortly after. My brother wanted to go with me because he was appalled at their behavior too. He and I talked about how inappropriate their behavior had been. I never knew anything was wrong with me until that day. Looking back, there was nothing wrong with me. There was, however, something very wrong with the way they were treating me. It is never okay to mention another person’s weight.
I’ve been to the lake and had a girl turn her nose up at me saying “She’s fat!” loud enough for me to hear. Shortly after that remark, I had a surgery for some serious medical issues involving my liver and spleen. I didn’t feel like eating after surgery and lost 40 pounds fairly quickly. Suddenly everyone was calling me ‘hot’ and ‘skinny’. Those were two things I had never been called before and I enjoyed it. I kept the weight off for years and made a new name for myself. Suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend.
What do you think happened when I had kids? Baby weight is not the easiest to lose and it weighed on my self confidence. I stopped going out, stopped going shopping and lost a lot of friends. It doesn’t help when people made back handed comments like ‘Well, you’ve almost lost the baby weight’. Key word…’almost’. A guy I dated shortly after having my first child always called me ‘fat a**’. I didn’t like to go into clothing stores because I felt like everyone was judging me. I mean, my own boyfriend didn’t find me attractive!
I began playing with different outfits and trying new styles to see what made me look and feel better. Some outfits resulted in ‘Wow! Have you lost weight?’ when I knew I hadn’t. I realized people started to see me as ‘hot’ again even if I didn’t see it myself. It was the clothes! It amazes me how an outfit that fits well can transform a look. An outfit has the ability to make or break my confidence. There are ways to dress to make myself look taller and thinner. I was able to get my confidence back and wear my clothes with pride. I don’t feel like I have to hide behind oversize t-shirts and baggy pants any more.
Once I realized the power of a good outfit I knew what I had to do. I decided I want to help other women feel confident too. I wanted to open my own online boutique and eventually a store front. It is my passion now to build up other women. Not only that, but to teach people to build others up instead of knocking them down. My online boutique is in the works and should open within a few weeks. For now I would like to talk to women like me who have had the same struggle. I want to help in any way that I can.
Blaze & Harper 